I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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