i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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