I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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