hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
