It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
