Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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