I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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