This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
