Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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