I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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