tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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