Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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