I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dignity is for republicans.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
