Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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