I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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