i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
