he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
