your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Randomize
