So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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