Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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