What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize