White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
