I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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