what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
