They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
