By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Couch. On fire.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
