just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
