I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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