My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
