I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
