Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
