I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
