pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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