is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
