Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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