Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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