the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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