I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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