Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
