he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize