I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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