Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
