Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
