I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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