I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize