so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize