What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
