butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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