you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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