Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
