im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
