doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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