The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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