i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
