32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
well you can't waste a boner
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize