You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just had sex on a roof
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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