it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
