I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
