ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
