yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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