Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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