Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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