I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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