id be glad to
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
