I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize