You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize