just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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