I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Another day, another engagement, another cat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
