I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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