It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
