I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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