I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize