no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
