I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
