I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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