girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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