hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
