Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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