Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
