friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
