90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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