I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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