your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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