Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
