how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
