Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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